To the Women that Bring Joy to My Life
Looking back on my fifty plus years of life, I am lucky enough to say that I have had many friends. They have been from different stages and different places throughout my life. Each new chapter I have entered has brought forth new friendships and sometimes sadly dissolved old ones.
I am still making new friends throughout my journey and I don't think I will ever stop. Getting to know new people brings with it a mountain of fresh conversations, ideas and new experiences. But if by some chance I was never to make a friend again at this stage of my life, that would be okay because I am so lucky; I have my true-est forever friends, my yaya's, my sisters.
These women range from older childhood friends all the way up to the present. They are amazing, talented, loving and all around awesome women that I am lucky enough to have found on this planet. Old, new, far or around the corner, all in all, they are my confidants, my BFF's. These are the women I can say anything to without worrying about judgment or secrecy. These are the women who know me better than I know myself. These are the women who accept me with all my craziness and quirks. These are the women I laugh so hard with that I pee in my pants. These are my friendship soulmates.
I am so grateful to know each and every one of these women, they know who they are. This blog post is dedicated to them and the joy they bring into my life. I love you all with all my heart.
And Always Be Kind...
When people say they live a happy life, do they really? Do you think every moment in their day is made up of absolute joy? I doubt it. It would be a lovely fairytale, wouldn’t it? No one is happy all the time. If they say they are, they are lying. Life is a roller coaster of ups and downs and we are just here for the ride. But I do believe happiness is a state of mind we can attain if we look at our lives a certain way.
I’ve been doing a lot of pondering about what I think it means to be happy. I feel it’s an attitude we can all strive for, but I believe it’s really a compilation of all the little moments we have throughout our hardships, our losses and our frustrations in our daily lives. Happiness is the little bits of light that keep us going when it’s dark. It’s not just the feeling we have when we have a good day. It’s the gratitude we have for the moments that made that day great.
I also believe happiness is the feeling we have when we are kind to others. It’s so important to show people kindness; not just because your parents taught you to, but because it’s part of being a human being. You don’t know what’s going on in someones world. The person who just cut you off could have been fired that day. The person who was rude in line at the grocery store could have a very sick parent or child at home. The person who you buy coffee from every morning who never smiles could be struggling to make ends meet. You just don’t know, and you never will. No one knows what people around us carry with them daily, what struggles they have, with their family, their friends, their jobs, their money or their health. People can sometimes put on a good front but the old saying that “no one knows what goes on behind closed doors” is so true.
Being happy is being grateful for all you have and realizing that you can’t have good without bad or light without dark. We can’t control and micro manage everything around us but we can enjoy the moments of happiness when they are here and be strong for ourselves and others when they seem so far away. We can choose to be kind to people all the time, even when we are in a bad mood because life is too short to be nasty. It’s wasted energy. So my conclusion is smile, pay it forward, be human, be grateful, enjoy the little things and it will lead you in the end, to happiness.
I Sometimes Miss Graphic Design, My Peers and My Mentors, But I'm Happy With the Choices I've Made
I often think about my education in graphic design and my professors that have shaped me into the creative person that I am. I will be forever grateful to them for everything they taught me. The artwork and design I create and the way I look at things around me is a result of the foundation of design principals they instilled in me.
I also think about and miss the group of designers and friends I graduated with at the University of the Arts. We were the infamous graphic design class of ‘85, the “rat-pack”; a crazy, close knit, extremely competitive and creative bunch who supported and pushed each other to be the best that each of us could be. We celebrated our 30th reunion at the UArts graphic design department’s 50th anniversary, a little over a year ago, and it was amazing to be together again. Today we are a combination of design directors, teachers, business owners, professionals, fine artists, and parents. I am so proud of all of them and their accomplishments. When we all saw each other that first day of the reunion it was like being in a time machine, we didn’t skip a beat. Distance and daily life may separate us, but the love and respect we had for each other has never changed and I don’t think ever will.
I was very lucky to work for some great small design firms after college, coming away from each one with an abundance of learning and growth as a designer. I sometimes look through my old portfolio of mostly corporate work that I did and think, damn that’s good, where did that girl go? Then I remember she’s here, just reinvented as I mentioned I often do, in my last blog post.
So why all this nostalgia you ask? I sometimes wonder if I should have stayed active in the field, but then I remember why I didn’t. I loved everything that had to do with the creative part of the job, from steps in creating a logo to laying out a brochure. What I couldn't handle, was the rest of it; the deadlines, the proofing, the midnight press runs and the clients who just couldn’t see your vision.
I have to also add that I am a little bit of a perfectionist, (ok, maybe I’m OCD with a touch of ADD), and the type of person who stresses over every little thing. It became clear one night after I called my husband at 2am crying on a press run when I was convinced there was a typo I missed, (when there was not), that it was just too much for me.
As I was contemplating quitting my career, I realized I couldn’t remember a time when I didn’t work. I started babysitting at 14 and worked all through high school and college and landed my first job very soon after graduation. In 1992 I was diagnosed with lymphoma and had to take a leave of absence for treatment. I had a great attitude and six months later after tests, surgery, hospitals and chemo, I went right back to work. I had never not worked, it was so foreign to me. So when I had my panic attack on that press run, the night I called my husband, I knew it was time to make a change. It was year after chemo and I had just found out that I was pregnant, which was a miracle in itself. I decided to it was time to quit, take a few months to myself and a become a stay at home mom.
Though I miss graphic design itself from time to time, I never miss the “job”. I have since found many other ways to stay creative and feed that bohemian artist that dwells in my soul. And I would do it all again in a heartbeat. Being a mom is the best, most important job I’ve ever had and even though my kids are adults, I am realizing that job never ends... and that’s ok with me.
